Saturday, October 9, 2010
When I'm sad, there's no stoping it! It's like I'm forever miserable. My pain, the past and present are like the stars....forever there, forever a reminder, and they may constantly change but eventually stars that you've seen before always return, to remind you again. I just wish I could stop it sometimes or at least move on from the past....you know, forgive and forget. But my problem is I NEVER forget!
Which brings me to my other point, happiness. When I find a guy I like I feel like I always fall head over heels in the 1st night. I know it sounds strange, someone complaining of being happy, but falling hard and fast seems to get me hurt that much more. I wish I could be normal....whatever that is, I just don't want to get hurt anymore! The worst part is that I have this friend whose aboslutely amazing! We have so much in common, and he's so sweet and caring. He always wants to know if I'm ok and for once I found a guy who loves my son and isn't weirded out that I have a kid and understands he comes first. But I just don't want to get hurt, I'm so tired of it! I just wish I wasn't so confused and the all these overwhelming emotions would just stop!