Saturday, October 9, 2010

Over Emotional

So I realized lately that I sometimes hate being so emotional.  Yes, it tends to help me with my job choice because it makes me somewhat of an empath but still I feel overloaded all the time.

When I'm sad, there's no stoping it! It's like I'm forever miserable.  My pain, the past and present are like the stars....forever there, forever a reminder, and they may constantly change but eventually stars that you've seen before always return, to remind you again.  I just wish I could stop it sometimes or at least move on from the know, forgive and forget.  But my problem is I NEVER forget!

Which brings me to my other point, happiness.  When I find a guy I like I feel like I always fall head over heels in the 1st night.  I know it sounds strange, someone complaining of being happy, but falling hard and fast seems to get me hurt that much more.  I wish I could be normal....whatever that is, I just don't want to get hurt anymore!  The worst part is that I have this friend whose aboslutely amazing!  We have so much in common, and he's so sweet and caring.  He always wants to know if I'm ok and for once I found a guy who loves my son and isn't weirded out that I have a kid and understands he comes first.  But I just don't want to get hurt, I'm so tired of it! I just wish I wasn't so confused and the all these overwhelming emotions would just stop!

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