Tuesday, May 22, 2012

ESCAPE


I found this place.
It’s peaceful.
SAFE.
The sky is motionless,
filled with soft colors
oranges, pinks, and purples.
It envelopes around me,
Bringing calm into my soul.
This world doesn’t KNOW...
Doesn’t know pain or anger.
Has NEVER heard cries of terror,
NEVER felt the stinging of tears
running down reddened cheeks,
NEVER seen the sorrows
the real world brings.
This place is familiar,
yet has waves of ever changing un-familiarness.
It washes over me.
Gives me NEW life.
NEW meaning.
Whispered words float by
grazing my ear,
sinking deep inside me.
Giving every word MORE meaning.
Meaning that before now
I NEVER understood.
This place makes me feel
light and warm.
I am SAFE.
Nothing can harm me here.
There is NO danger.
NO expectations.
NO disappointment.
My hands glide effortlessly,
left to right.
They cant move fast enough,
but at the same time
the faster they go
the less time I have here.
My time here always seems brief.
I try to hold on,
to NEVER let go.
I DON’T want to return.
To go back to that other world.
The WORLD thats full of hatred.
The WORLD that doesn’t understand me.
The WORLD where I feel alone.
This place is better.
It understands me,
brings me serenity.
Here I can be ME
WITHOUT judgement.
I let the stillness wash over me.
Until the words stop
and the sky starts to drip
droplets of orange, pink and puple.
Smearing like a wet painting
melting into a puddle around me.
That’s when the FEAR hits me.
Like being thrown into ice water.
I STRUGGLE,
as water rises around me.
I don’t want to leave yet.
The water gets higher.
I gasp for air,
thrash around in the water
HOPE that it wont get me.
But it ALWAYS does
and this time is NO exception.
BLACKNESS rises from the bottom.
Grabbing my legs and pulling hard.
It wraps around me,
pulling me deeper,
INVADING my body.
It’s a REMINDER...
That I can NEVER ESCAPE.
Not fully,
the darkness ALWAYS finds a way.
Suddenly its OVER.
I’m back.
once again, just a girl
just a girl sitting on her bed
with a finished book in hand.
Yearning for another.
Because another book,
means another chance
for an ESCAPE.