LOST IN TRANSLATION!!!!!

I NEVER...thought giving up someone would be so difficult.

WHAT...is it about love that makes it stick with you?

I never thought it would be easy by any means to give up someone you love, but NEVER imagined it would be this hard either. 

WHAT...makes a person suddenly decide not to give up?

Is it out of love? or fear of entering the unknown alone?

WHAT...makes a person decided you are enough?

how is living in California not ok one day...and love is enough to survive it the next?

Is he scared Lord? Or does he love me that much?

My ears burn with voices....one side says in being young you think differently, do you really want to lose him without trying your hardest?  Have you tried your hardest? WHAT...if you regret your decision, WHAT...will you do then? the other side says....run, run and NEVER...look back.

WHAT...do I do now Lord?  Please....I need your guidance.  I am but a follwer and will do what is asked.  I just want the pain to go away.  I want to be able to walk away from this with my son and NEVER...look back!  I want to give my son the life he deserves.

I NEVER...wanted this for him.  Not that my life was that horrible, but

I NEVER...wanted this for him.

So here I am Lord I am on my knees...

on my knees waiting for your words...

waiting for you to show me the way...

show me with your footsteps...

let your footsteps guide me...

guide me through this sandstorm...

The sandstorm of a life i fell into...

fell into without you...

Yes, it's been a while...

I NEVER...forgot you though

I NEVER...stopped believing

I was upset...

I didn't understand...

didn't understand why...

why I was on this path...

this path of pain, and agony, and fear...

I was tired...

tired of hurting...

tired of fighting...

so I pushed you out...

stopped talking to you...

I was so angry...

and while I still don't understand...

I thank you....

I thank you for waiting...

waiting patiently for me to return...

So now I will return the kindness you once showed me...

I will wait...

Patiently wait for you Lord...

I will take every step in obedience...

I know it won't be easy...

but I'm done with my way...

So I will wait for yours....

and will serve you while I wait....

I choose to be a blessing...

so please take me in...

and never let me go...

I need you in my life Lord...

I have finally hit the bottom...

Now I need someone to save me...

to pick me up and not let me fall...

you are everything that I need....

I have regrets...

I have made mistakes...

But you see me...

there's nothing hiding my sins...

nothing hiding the true me...

I am here Lord...

and I am bare...

im stripped down...

I see now you are everything...

everything that was good in my life...

so once again Lord I am here...

Here to live for you...

I want to feel again...

I'm tired of being numb...

I want to make a change...

I want more than this nothingless of life...

I need your passion...

I'm tired of the WHATS...and...Nevers...

I'm done going through the motions...

I am here for the long haul Lord...

I am here to stay...

So...WHAT...do you say?